normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
