apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
