why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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