dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
