We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
