Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
