dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
