I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
