Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
