Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
