I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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