just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
