So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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