that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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