if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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