I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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