I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
