Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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