Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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