Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
