Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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