FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
