I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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