i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
whose ass print is on the piano?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
