so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
