i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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