i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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