why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
