Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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