Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
