Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
