before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
