garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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