Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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