U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
