My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
