PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
