If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize