were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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