she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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