I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
