exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
