I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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