This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
