help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
