What a fucking waste of an outfit
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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