I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
