just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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