My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think I just sharted jello shots
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
