If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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