What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
