Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
