we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
