Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
