You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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