dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he shaved USA in his pubs
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize